Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Tomato sauce makes mi chips red

Young John from Northwich once said:
Some tomato sauce makes mi chips red
I ‘op up the street
eating chips with mi feet
an the chip tray goes into the flower bed

His mother said: Why do you do that?
And he said: You silly old bat
I'm not carryin’ it round
It looks nice on the ground
It wouldn't look nice as a hat

She took her brave John by the ear
You know all those rats that you fear
They thrive in your litter
Please don't think I'm bitter
..but this is a rubbish bin -  Here!!!

And see all those flowers in the flower bed
Your litter hides blue green and bright red
It wastes all the work
of the gardeners - you berk
Its an eyesore that kills plants stone dead

It spreads up the street and round town
and hides the church clock - where its blown
It hangs on the phone wire
and blows up much higher
You can go and collect it - you clown

Young John said: Eh Mam that's not fair
Its not all my rubbish out there
Mi friends chuck away
several bag loads a day
That's little Tom's coke can just there

And over the road there's a pony
eating polythene bags thrown by Tony
..and a bottle that broke
was thrown in by some bloke
in that flash car that Granddad's just shown me

His Mam said: You listen our John
Its time that this rubbish was gone
Go and round up the gang
Tom – Bob -Tony  - and Chang
..and Asil  - Jo  - Jane - and Yvonne

You can wear gloves and wellies and coats
Move the glass from the cows and the goats
Shift the bags from the sheep
Ask that girl in the Jeep
to stop throwing out boxes and notes

This town is a green Cheshire place
Every time that you litter this space
it smothers our pride
in this great countryside
Stop the litter..and Northwich is ace

They weren't very happy at first
but once they had cleared up the worst
they saw flowers and grass
so they asked their whole class
to put litter in bins
especially the chip tray
the coke can
the paper
the polythene bag
that might choke ponies dead
the glass that might break
to cut paws hooves and toes
the boxes and notes
and the junk that all floats
to stop time on the clock
right up in the steeple

then..choc full of pride..
at their litter-icide
they all burst

And as everyone knows ‘litter-icide’ is the killing of litter.

No comments: